Our school’s diseased! YES!

26Oct09

The middle school across town has been closed due to swine flu for two days, so in class today we got to talking about our chances of getting shut down. My teacher, the epitome of a Debbie Downer, was like, “Yeeeahh… no, that’s not happening.”

Then, not ten minutes before the end of the day, the principal came over the intercom. His voice was grave; like, “I regret to inform you that Christmas has been canceled this year due due to unfortunate circumstances beyond our control. Santa has been shot. That is all.” You know, THAT kind of grave. So what he said was, “Students and staff, I need to make an announcement.” (Cue entire class inching forward, on the edge of their seats, eyes wide.) “Due to an unfortunate outbreak of the H1N1 virus — ” (Jaws dropped. Eyes went wider. Everyone held their breath, waiting on tenterhooks.) ” — all schools in the area will be closed until next Tuesday.”

He said a lot more, but I don’t think anyone in the school registered that he was still talking because there was a freaking EXPLOSION as kids jumped up on desks and screamed “NO SCHOOL! SEVEN DAYS! OH MY GODDDDD!” and cheered and danced and hugged, spreading swine flu galore. My teacher was like, “Settle down, please, settle down — ” but everyone exchanged hugs and high fives and then immediately ran over to get enough hand sanitizer to drown themselves in. A whole freaking WEEK of no school! My brother already had swine flu so… fingers crossed, hoping I don’t get it.

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Tags: SWINE FLU!